What will become?

Yesterday I was quite emotional and I didn't know why. Today I woke up riddled with anxiety. I haven't had that feeling for some time, my body feels like it is one big ball of anxiety. Part of me wants to lay on the floor in a ball hugging my dog and shut out the world to let it wash over me and stop spinning.

Last year was a tough year for so many reasons. I made a conscious decision this year to stress less, learn more, accept life and just be happy no matter what, heal from the inside out. Years of self abuse finally caught up with me.

I chose to stop watching the news from all the atrocities that have been happening, I have even tried to stay off social media as much as I can, I only pop on to post positive vibes. It seems social media has become the place for people to air their dirty laundry, post meaningless drival. It saddens me that social media has become the place for humans to have social interaction?

Whats happened to us? What happened to picking up the phone and ringing someone to have a chat, meet up for coffee or an alcoholic beverage. We have become so desensitised to human contact. I am so guilty of that myself, but with the world events of late its kind of no wonder we have.

Hearing the death of yet another Iconic influential star to suicide. Chris Cornell no longer walks this earth, whether it be accidental or meant is yet to be established, but his battle with depression seems to have won out. This man was Iconic, he was a mover and shaker of the music industry, but also a philanthropist, he used his profile for good. But sadly it was all too much it seemed.

I am with his wife on the idea that the medication he was taking to help his dark moods, contributed to his death. How many deaths have we heard of from pharmaceuticals and the mind altering effects they have making people act out of character. I have seen it first hand, I have myself acted out in a way that wasn't normal for me. This is why I made the decision to stay off any medications and heal naturally.

Every time I see or hear of a suicide on the news or amongst my network, the outpouring of grief always makes me sit back and reflect.

If these people that have taken life could have only look into a crystal ball in those dark times and see just how much they were loved and the impact they have on the world before we decided to take their life. I'm sure that we would rethink the decision.

It sounds morbid, but thats what I think when shit gets toug, it snaps me back. I have attempted it once and have come close a 2nd tome. I may feel alone some day, most days actually, but I know the impact I have on this world and the lives I change directly and indirectly. The decisions I make not only effect me, but others.

I never want to inflict pain on anyone else, especially the ones that mean the most to me, my Niece Kara and Nephew Korben. These 2 are my flesh and blood and the closest to raising my own kids. They look up to me, especially Kara. I want them both to be inspired by their Auntie, to be their own person, to be their own brave, to know that they can be anything they want to be. I don't want my legacy to be quitting this life, I want it to be that no matter what she was strong, she was a fighter. Because of her I did the same.

The news of yet another senseless atrocities of mindless egotistical radical humans that use religion as an excuse to take peoples lives in the most horrific of circumstances.

Yes there has been a few of these of late, but this one just really effected me. A concert venue filled with young kids watching their idols perform on stage. What the fuck did they do to deserve this? What the fuck did Ariana Grande do to deserve this to happen at her concert.

I wont be surprised if that poor young girl will ever perform again after that! I hope that she does, I hope that even if you don't like her music that you stand up, stand along side her support her, support the families that lost their children, and support us as a community that we will no longer stand for this bullshit egotistical behaviour. Stand united in the fight for life.

I worry what may become of this world?

Will we live in fear or will we stand united?

Will there be another war?

Its now that we have to act, its been half hearted before.

Its not about going to war with another country or religion, we have proved that doesn't work.

It all starts at home, don't think that wont change the world, it will more than you know. Those 1%ers all add up.

Imagine if you changed your views and reactions?

Imagine if you became more tolerant, patient and accepting to other cultures?

Imagine if you stopped arguing with a partner or a sibling over menial issues?

Imagine if we stood up and said that behaviour is unacceptable that is racial & discriminating?

Imagine if we just treated each other as individual human beings for once?

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Courage Freedom Happiness.

Be your own Brave

#chriscornell #mentalstrength #happiness #acceptance #brave